


Business as Usual

by dodecahedrons



Category: Cheetos - Fandom, ねこあつめ | Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector
Genre: Gen, chester cheeto is an illegal kitty snack dealer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:17:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dodecahedrons/pseuds/dodecahedrons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wonder why Tubbs has that unmoving, oddly colored crumb on his face at all times that never seems to match the food he's eating? Ever wonder why he sometimes leaves you disproportionately low amounts of fish for your hard-earned sashimi and ritzy bits? Your unspoken questions will now be answered with this legit telling of what really goes down in your yard when you're not around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Business as Usual

It was a pretty run-of-the-mill day in the yard. Fred was doing his usual routine of hogging the top box of the Cat Metropolis, Spots was in their hideout in one of the few nearby tents, and that Guy Furry asshole was off in the corner, shoving poor Peaches into the clear vase again while meowing something about "Flavor Town" at the top of his lungs. While all of this was going on, no one payed any mind to Tubbs as he partook in his usual routine of inhaling the sashimi left out for all the cats like he owned the place.

No one, except a certain newcomer to the party.

"Hey, Chubbs," came a smooth, deep purr from the corner of the yard. Tubbs looked up from licking his paws for a moment to glance at who was trying to talk to him. Lo and behold, there was a cat with cheeta-like markings standing on it's two hind legs right at the gate to the yard. His rather oversied paws were tucked into some odd fashion device he was wearing on his upper body, (Tubbs vaguely remembered hearing a human call it a jacket once, so he was going to go with that) and a pair of sunglasses covered his oddly placed eyes.

"The name's Tubbs," he responded, squinting at the odd cat. "What do you want? I'm kind of busy here."

"Oh, that's chill. I just figured you were the type of cat who enjoyed some..." he opened one side of the jacket he was wearing to reveal bags of food. "Extra snackin', if you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down."

Tubbs's ears perked up at the sight and mention of extra food. After a moment, he picked himself up from his (admittedly very comfortable) spot next to the food bowl and gently padded his way over to where the abnormally bipedal cat stood. "I'm listening."

"For only 30 silver fish, I can give you an entire bag of Cheetos™ brand kitty snacks," the cat purred, an unsettlingly toothy grin taking up a good portion of his face as he finished up his offer. Tubbs edged away a bit at the grin, but didn't move otherwise.

"Tempting," he contemplated aloud. "But I feel if we're going to do..." he paused, glancing around him to make sure the yard was still busy. The distant distressed screams of Peaches and the continued raving about Flavor Town from Guy Furry proved to be promising, as he noticed a crowd growing around the duo. No one wold notice what was about to go down, so he continued. "... _business_ together, I feel like I should at least know your name."

"Ah..." the cat hissed, bringing a fist to his mouth (clenched teeth and all) for effect. "No can do, Sir Bubbs-"

"Tubbs."

"Sorry. Sir Tubbs, my dude. This cat can't give his name out to just any neighborhood kits, you know what I'm sayin'? It could seriously damage my rep if word got around I'm dealin these kitty treats."

"I'll pay you 35 silver fish," Tubbs raised, cocking a fuzzy cat-eyebrow at the suspicious treat dealer. After a few moment staredown, the dealer caved.

"Hm... Fine, Sir Rubbs-"

"I... Close enough."

"You can have my name," the dealer decided, tilting his glasses down a bit to look over them at the cat he was dealing with. "The name's Chester."

"Chester... Alright, Chester. You have yourself a deal," Tubbs concluded, his meow turning to a contended purr right at the end there. "I'll leave your fish outside the yard at nightfall."

"Sounds good to me," the dealer - now known as Chester - responded. "I'll leave your snacks in place when I pick them up."

"Shake on it?" Tubbs meowed slowly, raising a paw toward Chester. Chester grabbed Tubbs's paw with his own, unusually anthropomorphic paw, shaking it up and down a few times.

"I've gotta head out now, though," Chester grumbled, wiping his paw on his jacket inconspiciouly before letting his arm fall limp at his side. "Can't let any of your other buds see me. Remember the deal, Zubbs."

"Alright, Chess."

"Chester."

"Right, sorry."

With that, Chester winked at Tubbs over his glasses once more before fixing them, giving Tubbs a (literally) snappy two-guns-minus-the-wink as he backed out of the yard.

And, as if to end the moment on a perfectly high note, you could hear the glass vase in the background shatter as Guy Furry's newest victim finally escaped the wrath of Flavor Town.

Today sure was a great day.


End file.
